5:10 AM in England

I suppose this is the part of studying abroad that sucks. 5:10 in the morning, wide awake, everyone asleep and even if the other international kids aren’t, you’re not close enough to run up to their dorm and bang on their door. If anything, I’m thankful that that time difference makes it so that everyone at home is awake for most of the time I am, but even then constant contact is more of a reminder that you’re a full 3500 miles away than anything else.

It’s alright during the day, when there’s things to do and people to see. It’s really only when you’re alone in your single bedroom (which I despise, by the way), lying on the bed and then suddenly it hits you: this is London, not Parsippany, not Boston, not New York, not the USA – you’re in freaking England. Pretty much by yourself.

They’re so lucky, haha – I never thought I’d be this jealous of someone with an SO but come on now. You’re alone in a foreign country with no discernible end in sight, confused out of your mind by the most simple things and oftentimes unable to understand their accents, but hey. You’re with your best friend, boyfriend, whatever it is. Especially since we all have singles, here, I imagine that after a long day being fake with everyone else and just trying to get through the day, they go back and relax in each other’s familiar company. Practically, yeah, it’s probably not a smart move, since you’ll always have to remember this trip and him in the same thought, and if you ever broke up (knock on wood for these two) then you’ll never really be able to look back on this experience in a good, healthy light, but hey. While you’re here, it’s pretty nice.

Kinda wish I had at least a friend here, lol.

We’re all still in that stage of careful acquaintanceship, the kind where everyone’s nodding and smiling and saying “mhm” every few seconds in a conversation, when everyone’s laughing nervously at every bad joke, when you don’t know anything about the other people you’re talking to and you all feel the need to fill every second of silence with some sort of conversation, good or bad (or terrible).

We’ve all been through enough of these to know that it gets better really quickly, after the first few days or so, but it still sucks for those first few days. Especially since I’m 3500 miles and 5 hours ahead of anyone I’d really want to talk to.

Please all get whatsapp and keep me company when you’re awake. <3

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