Super Junior, DBSK, and Big Bang, My Old Friends…

Junior and senior year of high school for me, as you all know, were spent ogling pretty Korean boys who pranced around in shiny outfits and wore guyliner. Stereotypical Asian girl, shush.

It’s been two years since I’ve even played any of my Korean playlists.

I just have to say…revisiting these high school songs make me so happy – it brings back memories of close friends, of happiness. There were no hard feelings between anyone, nothing had gone wrong, no one had been insulted, no one had been slighted. We were happiest in each other’s company, never actually expecting it to end. College? It’s really just a myth – something to look forwards to but never actually expect to come around…where would we be without each other?

Oh, the naivete of high school.

Then, mistakes were made, regrettable things were done. Best friends were lost and other people were forcibly fit into the hole they left behind.

It’s hard to think of those last few months without regret and without wishing things were done differently. It’s hard to accept that those people you used to share everything with were no longer here, no longer going to be always with you. Two years into college, it still startles me when I realize that tomorrow I’m not going to wake up and go to classes with friends I’ve had since childhood.

And when I think about how we’ve all changed, with each other, by ourselves…how everything we did is now unchangeable, how it seems like nothing we can do these days will ever fix what we’ve lost…

If I had a chance to redo something, anything…I wouldn’t think about my grades, I wouldn’t think about opportunities and missed connections, none of that. If I had one thing to redo…such regret, lol.

Listening to Super Junior reminds me of times we sat in Chem and listened to them during our lab breaks. It reminds me of my girl friends (yes, I have a few) and I watching Youtube videos and squealing about how cute they all were. It reminds me of our guy friends rolling their eyes so hard they’d almost fall out of their sockets…but I also remember how fond we were of each other while doing all of this.

And then I have to remember how that stuff isn’t really there anymore.

So we turn to Youtube.

My first first Korean song, everyone…<3

And just for good measure…

 

That’s the thing with commitment, isn’t it? You always think it’ll never end, you always think everything’ll turn out alright in the end. Friends forever, right? Nothing will ever go wrong. Though I was smart enough back then to not believe in the merits of “happily ever after” with Prince Charming, I still naively believed in the idea that when you were this close with someone…nothing would ever break that.

But that, obviously, isn’t the case.

Lesson well learned.

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